1. You won’t have a successful relationship unless you’re 10000000% okay with just being with YOU, first.
The time I spent single, alone, and NOT looking for a relationship were probably a couple of the most crucial years to my growth as a person that I wouldn’t have got if I kept jumping boy to boy or looking for that special someone. That time alone allowed me to reflect on my past, understand my experiences, get through heartbreak, and learn to love myself first. I’m sure you’ve heard that saying that goes “no one can love you if you don’t love yourself.” It’s completely true and I don’t think you can gain that understanding if you’re constantly going from relationship to relationship. A break up is devastating and you need some time to heal and be alone before you’re ready to take on a whole new person. You need time to grieve and you need to learn from that relationship before going into a new one. Relationships are there to teach us and there’s always a lesson to be learned if you give yourself the time alone to learn it. If you’re just going from relationship to relationship without ever being alone, you may never ever have these opportunities to grow. It’s like keeping a plant in a nice pot inside where it’s comfortable, but if you put it outside in the sun, it’ll grow to places it never dreamed of.
2. We all had that ONE relationship or person…
You know the one. That one person you were so enamored by despite them treating you less than you deserved. That one relationship where you spent most of it in tears, the one that turned you into a crazy and emotionally impulsive version of yourself. The one where you completely lost yourself in so when the relationship ended or the person left, you felt like you died and all that was left was a shell of yourself. We’ve all had at least one of these in our lives. We look back on these times mostly with huge regret and shame for how we acted and for how allowed ourselves to be treated. But these relationships are actually a beautiful blessing we should be grateful for because they taught us SO MUCH about ourselves, other people, and about relationships. How would we know what kind of treatment we would accept from a partner if we didn’t go through these relationships that completely broke us? How would we learn how to be strong again and gain a sense of self without that emptiness when this person left us? You got knocked down and buried but you STILL found your way out of that hole with only your own two hands, and now you’re better and stronger than you could have imagined yourself ever being. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, more dazzling than before. These relationships gave us a real chance to grow and start anew. I know I wouldn’t appreciate my boyfriend the same way I do now if I didn’t go through experiences like this. Something that closed off my heart at first ended up making it bigger than ever.
3. A relationship is nothing without mutual respect and honesty.
You should be able to tell your partner how you feel. You should be able to cry on their shoulder. You should be able to be honest about your life with them. And you should give them that opportunity to comfort you the way a partner is there for. You should be able to respect your partner when they have the courage to be honest with you. You should be grateful and appreciative when they do something nice for you. You shouldn’t lie to them or hide from them. You shouldn’t put out a false image you can hide behind. A partner should know ALL OF you, otherwise who are they really in love with?